11 November 2004
But I found out one of Jays young soldiers(under 25) who now serves in another Company(but still side-by-side as brothers in arms) was killed shortly after Jays return to Iraq. This soldier has been part of our lives for almost as long as we have been here at this duty station. Jay has helped this soldier and his family(as he has with many not just one) when times were hard and he needed guidance, Jay was a mentor a moderator, a mediator, brother, father and friend when needed. They joked around and played pratical jokes on each other when they were bored and had nothing to do when they had long work days or were out in the field. We have watched this soldier climb 2 ranks and was ready for the third. He leaves behind a beautiful wife and three children under the age of 5. He was an outstanding "Soldier", "Father" and "Husband" and will be missed by many.
This has been the hardest week for me as a 25 year Army Wife since Jay has been gone, and not just because I had to stand in the airport last week with about 15 other wives with tears running down all our faces, eyes puffy, blowing noses in whst seemed to be a million tissues and saying "SO-LONG" (never good-bye) for now for the second time in less than a year.
The fierce fighting, the unknown, the uncertainty, the waiting, the wondering. Jumping if the phone rings and the caller ID says "UNKNOWN" or "OUT OF AREA" and not wanting to answer it for fear of who maybe on the other end and what they may have to tell me. If no one comes to my door dressed in a military uniform I have had great day.
But this hits so close to home, when you hear of other soldiers dying, you think to yourself Oh NO! how sad for their families. But this wakes you up, shakes you up and scares the living hell out of you to know this person was fighting so close to your husband and bullets, bombs or RPG's don't have names on them, it could have been Jay just as easily as it was this soldier or any one else for that matter. I don't know where in Baghdad this happened, I don't know any deatails of how it happened, none of that matters now, it can't be changed. The sad fact is that it happened at all!
I still have not had any direct contact with Jay since I kissed him just before he walked down the ramp to boarded the plane last week.
The only thing I do know is how I have felt inside since I found out about this, I can see this soldiers wife as I talked to her the day they left many months ago with a baby in the stroller and the other 2 little ones toddling along beside her, the tears in her eyes...all puffy from hours of crying. I took her in my arms and gave her a big hug and whispered in her ear "It's going to be alright!" I'll be here if you need me, call me at anytime day or night. Now I choke on these words I said to her! I feel so bad for her as a young wife now a young widow!
I have been a military wife for 25 yrs, I don't stand behind Jay and support him and his soldiers I proudly stand "BESIDE" him and I support him as well as his guys and their families. We wives are a sisterhood, it takes a special breed of woman to become a military wife and maintain a military marriage and family. I worry just as much about his soldiers as I do Jay and my own children.
My oldest daughter is 24 has 2 children and her husband is in the Army, and yes he's in Iraq too, I fear getting a call from her informing me something has happened to him. I have a son serving in Korea, that may be going to Iraq sometime next year. So I'm no stranger to any of this and I thank God that all of our family has been safe so far, but my heart still goes out the the young military wives.
I can not imagine how she feels right now and I won't pretend too. I will be here for her, as will her family and his family but the thought goes to the children and how this will effect them, the oldest loved to wrestle with his Dad, he was his hero. I have such a heavy heart and much sadness in it right now. I know that Jay is taking this very very hard, this was one of his "BOYS" as he calls them and they are just that! Each and everyone of his soldiers.
So please say a special prayer for this family and all of the other families who have lost loved ones. And for the wonderful soldiers who are fighting so vigialntly in this war to keep us safe and free. And Thank-You to all of the readers and Americans who stand behind and support these soldiers. Just reading your comments and knowning that you care and have concern bring the morale up 100%.
Thank-you all for reading the ramblings of a worried Army Wife!
Until the next Blog
God Bless and Stay Safe
Wife waiting at home.